They say moving house is one of the most traumatic experiences that a person will go through in their lifetime. That is 100% true in my opinion. I hate moving. There is no way I am keeping all my stuff, what do I keep, what do I throw out? What if the housemates are awful?
House hunting is soul crushing, scary, panic inducing and at times a bit like Tinder.
So here are the stages everyone goes through while house hunting. Anything sound familiar?
1. The moment of truth
Maybe you have moved country or maybe you have just moved from the country to the big smoke or maybe you are already living in Dublin and just trying to escape your passive-aggressive clean freak housemate , either way, you’ve had to accept: it’s time to find a new house.
2. The wishlist
What do you need? Somewhere right in Rathfarnham with a double room, decent common area, a few sound flatmates and a rent that doesn’t require a second job, that allows you to keep Marley, your hamster and doesn’t mind friends or your boyfriend staying over. Surely that’s not much to ask. Is It?
3. The first step
House-hunter, meet DAFT.ie and Rent.ie these are your friends now. This will become the most used app on your phone overtaking facebook. This is a website that will crush your soul, your dreams and will make you feel like a pauper.
4. The Shock
How in the name of all that is holy can there be only five listings for a non owner 
occupied house share for €600.
5. The Lie to yourself
Maybe I could consider owner occupuied, maybe they are really nice people. Oh it says accepts couples.
One horrific phone call later your fear is confirmed owner occupied house shares are not for you.
6. The false solution
That one’s lovely… and cheap!
And… only accepting men.
Oh wait this one is lovely and cheap, oh bills included. Feck it is owner occupied.
7. Getting Blanked
It’s the perfect house, only a few hundred people have viewed the ad, it is below your budget – this is the one. This is the dream house. Contact by email only and there is no number so you send off the email.
AND….you never hear from them. Damn this hurts more than being blanked on tinder.
8. Compromising
Dundrum is not too far from Rathfarnham… wait what about Balinteer, where is that?
Hell to the know, that is further again.
9. The viewings
You have 3 viewing arranged for Thursday evening.
One of them will be fantastic, I will pay my deposit and move in over the weekend. What housing Crisis?
10. Panic Stations
Okay I have viewed 10 house and no one has gotten back to me, did I say something wrong? Did I smell funny? Should I have brought Cake.
I have 3 weeks before my lease is up!!!
11. Cursing
F**k renting, I should just apply for a mortgage oh wait I can’t I don’t meet the criteria. Darn it. I hate those people who are not house hunting, living at home or have a mortgage.
12. The One
You’ve found one, It’s clean, reasonably priced, (well you might need to live on beans and toast or find a new job) and in your dream area. Well close enough to it.
Now just to wait for the call to say I am the one, Is this what getting to the live shows on x-Factor feels like?
13. The waiting game
They said they’d call, what haven’t they called? I have the money!
This is like that time I was ghosted on tinder all over again.
14. Settling
Maybe I gave up on owner occupied two soon, I could make do with a single bed
15. The call
It’s yours! Finally, I’m NEVER MOVING AGAIN! Well not for at least another year.
I would like to thank my mam, daft.ie, my boyfriend, the bank for that loan……
See house hunting is awful, it kills! Is this what house hunting has felt like for you, did I miss something? Let me know in the comments below!
Until Next Time,
Nicole
Nicole's Life 